Wednesday, March 21, 2012

Mind Games: Losing While Pigging Out! (By Andi)

This past weekend was a major challenge between eating healthy and letting loose. I let loose. It was my son's birthday. He had a large sleep over party where we faked camping. I had over to my house eight boys, all eight years old. We had a tent in the living room and make smores in the fireplace. Knowing this was going to be challenging, I decided to make the food part of the party as easy as possible. I made cupcakes and bought lots of chips and trail mix. In all me pre planning cleaning (we'll get back to that in a moment), I forgot to prep me some good food. So not only did I have lots of chips and trail mix, I drank margaritas. I would have gone with wine but we had none. I had instead zero calorie margarita mix. This does not make the tequila calorie free mind you. I estimate I had close to 500 calories of my 1200 calorie limit in margaritas. The remaining 2200 calories was had with the rest of the junk food. So at this point I planned on bringing $5 to the work weigh in figuring I blew it. But I was resolved to enjoying the gluttony of Cool Ranch Doritos. That was Saturday. Sunday started with another cupcake, finished off the Cool Ranch and had no work out all weekend. I was back to my routine Monday and weighed in today (Wednesday). Down 1.2 pounds. Yes, I am thrilled. But I am worried. I'm having little mind games with myself. So, I can eat nearly a bag of Doritos and have 3 cupcakes and four margaritas and lose weight? Sweet! No. Not sweet. It would never continue to work this way. It's a darn fluke and I cannot get into that habit. But it was nice to let loose for a weekend.

Back to this "pre cleaning" for the party idea. Prior to having eight boys over for a sleep over, I cleaned house. I mopped the floor, cleaned the toilet, picked up all around the house, dusted, made my husband do things like vacuum and I hired a high school student to pick up the patio and rake the dead grass and dog poop in the yard. Okay, I am glad the poop was taken care of, but needless to say, Sunday when the parents came to pick up the boys, no one would guess that I cleaned house. Why do I do dumb things like that? Heck, why do I allow eight boys to have a sleep over in my home? Next year, I think my son can invite two friends to the movies.

I have three more weeks to go on the work fitness challenge. I think I am around 6th out of 15. I'm not sure I can pull off a 3rd place win but at this point, I don't want to have to add $5 each week I am over. I am anxious for the challenge to be over. Not that I plan to eat a lot and stop working out. Rather, I need to bring it in a little or else I will loose all interest in making this a forever change. I'm also sick of worrying about the scale each week. The pre weigh-in thoughts are so annoying! (I need to pee first. I need light clothes for Wednesday's weigh-in. Should I get my hair cut before the weigh-in? How much weight would I take off if I shaved my legs the morning of the weigh-in? Should I workout that morning? I need to forgo water during the workout the morning of my weigh-in. What should I have for dinner the night before? Should I go by the bank and get money in case I gained?) As you can see, I'm crazy.

I digress. Let me tell you what I DO like. I like the way clothes fit. I like the way I feel after a workout. I like my workout play lists and "me" time at the gym. I like how my knees are less sore climbing stairs. I like feeling in control of my intake. I like talking to my friends about workouts and new foods. I like the splurge of a drink or real desert now and then. I like feeling just a little engulfed in my husbands arms. I like that I have kept this going for nearly 4 months. I like that I am not even close to giving up. I like that I won't give up!

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